Golden Heart

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The golden light of this heart
is the heartbeat of Mother Nature...
It represents our life force energy fully ignited.

As we connect to the planet through the food we eat for sustenance, and to one another for friendship and compassion, our energy can become golden light. We can receive this light by meditating in the sun, allowing light to flow into our bodies, also contemplating the relationship of Earth's gold to lead. We can "plug" into the center of the Earth during meditation, and draw Her fire up into our hearts through our breathing. I love to go and lay somewhere where the rocks or the sands are warm.

We can change the rate of our pulse and blood-flow by tapping into Mother Earth's gold. We can perform martial arts, heal the sick, shift-shape and travel through time...

The more we do this, the more we learn how to experience our bodies as "Soul Spaceships", so to speak.

Our bodies are putting out energetic messages all the time, and it is not just all about being "sexual". This is where some people are very messed up. Don't let anyone mess with you anymore in this arena.

I don't like to discuss it too much because people pervert things. If you start asking people how they feel about their bodies, of course they will relate to their pain or their sexuality. In other words, most people are walking around, seeing their bodies as being nothing more than containers... (As if our bodies are no more useful than a suitcase?! There's something wrong with that kind of thinking.)


My point is this: people don't just communicate with one another in words, we also do it through our body language.

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There are so many people out there practicing a kind of black magic with their body language... They don't even know they're doing it. They may think they are speaking in great truths? But they are not effective because their physical bodies are putting out a different message. If they are spiritual people who seek to understand their own intentions, yet they do this? Something is wrong.

An old woman I know likes to follow her friends to restaurants... Then she will just sit there without paying or leaving a tip. She will fold her hands under her arms and stare off into space, helplessly, with her lips buttoned. So then, her friends always foot the bill, or end up buying an entree' to share, enabling her while she sits there... Sending off a message to everyone in the place that she's "poor". This way, restaurant owners feel sorry for her.

She recently accused my friends of "not loving" her. Yet in knowing her (for 20 years now), I have observed she has never really been able to receive love! She is one of these people who runs away, darting left to right, always clutching her poisoned apple under her cloak... (Like all she really wants is to be enabled in her poverty-mentality.) I think this junk has made her heart grow small.

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The ancient teachings of alchemy were shown to direct us to the healing power of gold. Gold is a metaphor used for literally shifting the leaden blocks in our blood to lighter matter, and for healing and removing the gravity (lead) in our hearts. In this way, we build chi, or energy. We can meditate with, and use this gold light energy to connect to others. All we have to do is allow gold light to flow into our hearts whenever we want or need it!

We can also sit and meditate with a piece of gold.

The feeling is the kind of lightness you feel in your heart when you are in love.

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Jesus Laughing

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I had a teacher who used to say, we are not here on Earth for ourselves. In fact the anagram for "Earth" is "Heart". So she used to say, we are living here on Planet Heart.

Everyone searches for a reason to be alive, don't they? We run into all kinds of diversions as we go along, because here on Earth, we're in Life School. We get to keep repeating the same lessons over and over again, remember? We have to, until we learn them. Once we learn them, they are written inside us.

Relationships, however, are a little more complicated. For one thing, we left the Garden of Eden to experience things like choice-making and free-will. Are we getting it, God?

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The challenge is to see how every person is a brother or a sister; by befriending them in such a way, we might find something more. We might learn something about ourselves! We cannot ever really know ourselves unless it is through another human being. Isn't it ironic?

Sometimes it is not always possible to help someone or talk with them. Either way, we should pray for ourselves and the people we care about. Don't leave someone in the dark. If you need to postpone a conversation for a week to get them to think, do it. But don't abandon anyone if you know you can help them see the light. Try and empower others with tools and information and resources, if they let you. They are another You.

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I'm a big fan of Judge Judy. I think she rocks! I love how she gets into session and starts asking 20-questions. I love when how, someone tries to speak-over her, and she'll holler back - "I get to ask the questions here!" I think it's cool how she can catch anyone in a lie! Whenever I invoke my Inner Judge Judy? You can bet someone around me is breakin' the law.

Of course, when you are dealing with someone like Judge Judy? The intensity is deflating. There are some women out there with really negative or intense "inner-Judge-Judy's", ready to emasculate the first guy who comes along. Then she'll use your balls for ping-pong, boys.

You see many of us as being cougars and pythons?! Beware!

Because if you are one of those double-standard boys out there, playing the game of He's Just Not That Into You, you might go for one of us "older" babes.

Just be forewarned and wary: we'll be looking for what you believe in, and we will challenge you from every angle on it. We'll want to know from you about what it means to be a friend. We'll be asking you about your views on the differences between love and sex.

We weren't born yesterday, and we won't trust you or endure your foolishness and double-speak. We already know you're working with a forked-tongue and an f'd-up mind. We will work the 20-question-methods in order to squeeze the life out of you. Then? We'll suck out your brains. We'll leave you, pulsing in a husk, on the freeway of your life.

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Dang! Must I always be so punitive?

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Having gone through most of my life accounting for every stuck-fart on paper or otherwise, to every authority I've ever known... I've always hated that. I sometimes refuse to apologize for my bad attitude. Let's face it, most of the real compassion I've received in my life has been from the opposite sex. I'm meeting a lot of men who are more sensitive and active as fathers than their wives are as mothers. (But golly, there isn't anyone I haven't met who doesn't have "issues".)

Aren't people supposed to be presumed innocent until they are like, tried in a court of law?

I spent a lot of my career wondering - what did I do? Deeply questioning and searching the possibility that somehow I must be a bad person? Because I was educated by nuns, and always worked for punitive a-holes. That's where I learned all this!

So the other day a friend of mine (who is 30 years younger than me) pointed out - "why don't you try Mr. Rogers?"

I didn't think he meant it so literally. But as we began to talk, he simply said he learned during his life in the orphanage... People simply don't listen. And a lot of time they don't even want to. So he began to use Mr. Rogers as his role model.

Here we are, angling around one another's body languages... Twinging and latching onto other people's souls as if they are suitcases (not spaceships).

"If you don't want to be punitive, or sound punitive, I would recommend talking like Mr. Rogers," he said.

"Start by introducing what you want to say in 'I' and 'me' terms... Try telling them a couple of times. Then, if that doesn't work? Then do the Judge Judy."

Well, unfortunately, I missed out on Mr. Rogers somehow. (But he's still airing on PBS.) My friend had to teach me to say a few things like this:

"My feelings are hurt when you blame me for the mold on your shoes."

Believe me, I am gritting my teeth all the way...

"Wow, it scares everyone in the building when you slam the door like that..."

"Gee, I can't talk fast enough when you keep interrupting me. It makes me feel anxious..."

I'm getting the hang of it!

And also asking more questions instead of being accusing or blaming, like:

"Yikes! It's hard to laugh when you are hitting my grocery cart with your grocery cart. Is this supposed to be funny?!"

WHY?

I am learning more to ask "why?"

Instead of being like Judge Judy, and saying something like: "I don't wish to participate in discussions about my personal business!" I can ask: "WHY is it important for you to want to discuss my personal business?" and "Why must I participate in this discussion?" and "Why isn't dating you any fun anymore?"

I think I'm getting it...

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"I'm just a soul the on the planet;
I'm trying to do good, be good, feel good..."

-Meshell Ndegeocello
"The World Has Made Me the Man of My Dreams"

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The Verb 'to Love'

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The Verb ’to Love’
by Todd Rundgren

Some people tell me that love is a feeling,
Or a possession;
Somehow that seems so cold.
And when they say love is sweet,
Does it mean that you eat it?
Maybe you drink it?
Does it fill up an empty hole?

I’m lookin’ for a love and I may not find it.
You know it doesn’t mean a thing
Without some action behind it!

Please come home...
I can hear them calling
Please come home
Please don’t leave us all alone...
Your mama and your papa are crying all alone.
You better let it magnetize; learn to sacrifice,
’til we get the true version of - -
The meaning of the verb "to love".

What
does
it mean
to love?

And when somebody needs love,
Do they spend some money?
Say something funny,
Ask for some tenderness?
And when you wanna touch of love,
Do you lie on your back?
Stand on your head?
How do you feel it best?

I’m looking for a love with no strings attached,
To take me like I am - that’s the only catch!

Please come home...
I can hear them calling,
Please come home
Please don’t leave us all alone...
Your wife and your lover are crying all alone.
You better let it magnetize - learn to sacrifice...
’Til we learn the true version of

The meaning of the verb "to love".

Does it mean any more,
The more you talk about it?
Is it any more real
If you jump around and shout it?
I’m sick and tired of hearing
’bout everyone without it
and
Too much talkin’ sends me walkin’.
Night is falling and
everybody’s calling
for
love.

Everybody’s lookin’ for their one and only.
It’s only just a game ’cause they’re scared
to be lonely.

Please come home...
I can hear them calling,
Please come home
Please don’t leave us all alone...
Your brothers and your sisters are crying all alone.
You got let it magnetize, learn to sacrifice -
’til we get the true version of
The meaning
of the verb
"to love".

What
does
it mean
to love?


c)Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp; Humanoid Music

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I am not an expert in boundaries. But I am a firm believer in learning when to turn the other cheek and walk away!

There are so many people who are going through life, not only wounded, but toxic. We all have our crosses to bear, don't we? And with some luck and a lot of work on ourselves, getting our hearts into a place of wanting to feel good, asking for balance and well-being, we have access to all kinds of tools and information to get us through. Ideally we should be able to reach a continuum in our lives where we can always feel good... Knowing that happiness is a choice. Let me tell you about it: this is what self-realization is all about.

In other words, we start to feel that we are walking in God's Light. (Because we feel good!)

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So, many of you are asking, why is it that a happy, "nice", kind person attracts people who are hateful and mean-spirited?

How is it that someone who is so "nice", so kind, so thoughtful, can attract someone who gossips, slanders others and dumps all over them?

Here's my response... It's because they feel safe with us.

But be mindful that Jesus only helped those who came to Him and asked for help.

There are a lot of people out there who are actually crying for help, and don't know it. Never presume that you know what is best for another person; take your time.

It's one thing to accept people and love them unconditionally; it is quite other things to share in their guilt. This is why everyone needs to understand what healthy boundaries are.

I know people who truly suffer from some sort of "lack" in their minds... They use drugs and alcohol regularly; they get hooked-up into strange practices and beliefs about themselves and others; they make fetishes out of things, and out of themselves (I.E. some celebrities are known to do this); they define themselves through what they do, and not by watching their ways of being; they make overtures to control others because they are afraid of being abandoned, or they can't handle rejection in any form. Who doesn't struggle?

The challenge comes with a desire to grow... Because when people are bored, they start creating trouble for themselves and others.

This is a lot of what was going on around Jesus... In fact, He never offered to help anyone unless they first asked. Jesus understood the intrinsic nature of chaos, and what it could do to the spirit of mankind.

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I've noticed a pattern in my own life, of being surrounded by people who need to confide and gossip about others. Sure, we are all human beings and we talk about other people because we want to understand what drives them, what hurts them. I think I am a safe person for people to confide in, simply because I don't go to their hang-outs. I want to shift some of this chaos out of my life.

I find, if I try to ascertain my own opinions directly about the person who is dishing dirt, I am often cut-off, or find myself in a situation where the speaker becomes contentious and judgmental of me. This is always shocking! But after 50 years of practice, I finally get it.

In the past, it has been their way of keeping me in my place (as a listener). So I have had to learn to walk away, stop participating - and even put my hand up in someone's face and tell them "Talk To the Hand"! Does it get any ruder than that?! It can, because I am a human being and I have my limitations, too.

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No one should be chastising you about your life. We are all doing this walk on Planet Heart as free agents; whether we want to believe or accept that or not is inconsequential. If someone hurts you, it is only a side-effect of the real problems going on.

The fact is, when one person disrespects another person's space, time, privacy, background, history, story, religious or spiritual practices, that is not love. It's something else.

It is ultimately a show of disrespect because that person's soul process is not being honored. To recognize this, and to draw back on one's tendency to CONTROL another person is a healthy boundary. Also, seeing-through someone else who is trying to control us is important.

We need these boundaries in our private lives, but also at work, and in dating and in marriage. We need them in our friendships. We do not necessarily need to be spilling our guts to individuals we don't know. People take information and sometimes use it as ammunition. Many friendships have been hurt and ruined, because people cannot keep their mouths shut and their sex lives private, for example.

We have to watch our patterns with people... And know when to knock it off.

The best clue will be that it just doesn't feel good. It isn't fun anymore.

I have written in other areas of this blog where some people feel they need to have fun at another person's expense... Be very sober and careful when that happens. Anyone who behaves in hurtful ways like that is probably not a safe person to be hanging with.

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We also do not need to know everything about someone in one night. It is better to allow a relationship to develop over increments and periods of time... (Rather than download on someone for two solid hours, for example; or sleep with them on the first date.)

If you want some real love in your life, take your time getting to know people. Watch the warning signals you get; make a personal note of the red-flags you get. Pay attention to people who are trying to communicate honestly with you; they are trying to tell you something! People give us signals all the time; but perhaps we are the toxic ones who are not paying attention until the situation gets ugly? Ask them more questions, if you need better understanding regarding what you sense or feel. Don't presume. Never presume! (Check out my Mr. Roger's sections.)

If you allow someone to download on you and not give you a breather, they will come back with more. So knowing your own limitations in this regard is also an important boundary. Know when to say "enough already" to someone who is trying to control you.

Don't be afraid to give someone the consequences of their actions!

"If that's your attitude or that's how you feel about things, this is how it's going to play out with me..."

It felt great to do this with my mother the other day... She is always bitching about her health. In conversations I have given her countless suggestions on how to feel better. I even began to help her work out a 90-day dietary plan - which she dismissed and put down.

So I said - "Gee, then I guess this gives us a good reason not to talk about how sick you are anymore!" I acted really happy about it!

She got upset about that.

"Well," I asked her, "why should we talk about it if you don't plan to make any changes in your life? And you expect your doctors to do all that for you?" Then she changed her tune.

You might need some time to step back and evaluate the pay-offs in the situation. This is why so many people get into relationships where they feel as if they are being used - they ARE being used! People use one another as vehicles to grow. This isn't exactly ethical, but if they can do it? They will.

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We need to be able to say NO to certain situations when the time is right. Sometimes this begins privately, within our own awareness. But the bottom line is, if we let someone control us, we are just as guilty as they are. And we should ask for, and seek the genuine help we need from someone who can guide us to move forward. That's another healthy boundary.

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It is not easy to be honest. Sometimes we can only be honest by walking away from someone... (Because maybe it is our body language they are trying to hook-into, anyway.)

When you feel good about being with someone, you won't be holding any resistance in any part of your body. If you feel that you have to posture yourself, your voice, your ways of being, if you can't be natural, getting out of the unnatural responses are going to take some honesty on your part.

Also, it can be hard if someone is in pain, for instance, yet you can see that they are actually enjoying their pain...? Choosing certain elements and volitions to keep themselves in the pain or situation of lack, you will at some point be required to ask yourself if you are being their enabler.

We cannot change other people. We can only change ourselves.

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I once offered to pray for someone... And she reprimanded me for it, saying that she didn't want my prayers, because she felt my prayers would interfere with her spiritual practice.

It's okay. I am fully aware that I am here as an extension of Source Energy, burning through Karma... I learned that we don't have to put in a major petition to God on their behalf. We can light a candle for them.

fire dakini

I think this person was lucky to have me in her life for as long as she did.

She took me for granted. We thought we had an honest friendship, but we could never talk about our friendship or how it was playing out, honestly.

So I turn personalities like this over to Christ, and just send them white light.

Life is too short, ya know? We have better things to do with our time and energy on this earth walk; and Christ has shown us that through His teachings.

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If someone is acting as if they must control you, somehow, in order to have a relationship with you? That relationship is not worth keeping.

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People who give you freedom will also give you honesty.

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This blog has a consistent theme... It's about coming out of slavery and into freedom.

We can change ourselves!

Starting with prayer and meditation, we can begin to refocus our intentions on things that support and empower us to be happier.

We can choose to reach for positive emotions, and use negative situations and people as pivotal points to choose something better.

We can choose to get ourselves free from worry.

We can focus on those things that we really want in our lives, and ask ourselves a lot of questions about WHY. This helps us to track our spiritual intentions.

We can get free of being compulsive, by choosing stillness, quiet and peace with God.

We can choose to participate in positive things because they inspire us...

Using these values helps the chaos in our lives to fall away.

We can learn to persist, rather than resist and keep ourselves locked in pain.

We can allow ourselves to go through a complete cycle of emotions, and persist in reaching for those feelings that help us to feel better.

We can learn to speak with one another more honestly and be heard.

These are ways of working through inner inspiration where we can watch for the manifestation of God's Love... The spirit is always there.

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Soldier Heart, II

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I cannot find the word I want to use to describe this heart...

"Freedom comes with a price."

I just felt it was important. In my mind, this heart looks like more of a container, something you'd put medicine in. (What are those called?) I tried to work with the image and couldn't get it any bigger. (How sad is that?)

Well, I call it Soldier Heart II, because it looks like it's in shell-shock, and has gone through a total ream-job. Also, yes, it requires medication (via the crucifix on top). It has a story. I wonder if I'll ever know what it is?

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The Passion of The Christ

My Kingdom is not of this world...

Love one another as I have loved you.


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The Passion of The Christ

This is my body, which is given-up for you.

This is my blood,
which is the new covenant,
given-up for you in the forgiveness of all sin.


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The Passion of The Christ

I Am the Way,

The Truth, and the Life.


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The Passion of The Christ

Children

Learn What They Live


If children live with criticism,
they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
they learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
they learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with tolerance,
they learn to be patient.
If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.
If children live with praise,
they learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
they learn justice.
If children live with security,
they learn to have faith.
If children live with approval,
they learn to like themselves.
If children live with acceptance,
they learn to find
love in the world.


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for Mel Gibson

Self-Contained Heart

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Fun, huh? I love how this heart looks so timeless and perfect.

"The truth shall set you free."
- Jesus Christ

This image puts forth a balanced energy,
showing protective safeguards and healthy boundaries,
at the same time radiating a lot of love.
The heart is yin, the golden sun behind it is yang.
The thorns are neutralizers.
This is the image of a young adult heart
who has come into his or her own self.
It not only radiates faith, but self-trust and kindness.
At the same time, it is not leaking any energy;
it is cautious, aware, contained.


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"I will reveal all things, beloved,
so that through knowledge and understanding
you will become like Me.
I will reveal the hidden things to you.
Now, put forth your hands and hold on."

- Jesus, The Second Apocalypse of James

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Here's a photo of my town, the city of Seattle...

Many of you reading this blog
are too young to remember or know about


The Battle In Seattle

November 30, 1999 -
December 2, 1999




It was the first national protest
organized by caring American citizens,
on the internet.



Organizers and citizens came together to protest
against the World Trade Order (WTO).
People intended for it to be a peaceful protest...



However Seattle city officials
were very concerned about the crowds of people showing up...


So the police force was called in
to watch against any disorder.

You see, President Clinton
and other important officials
from all over the world were coming to town!

There were diverse crowds
of every nationality and age!



People wanted to take a stand
against the exploitation of people in other countries,
the loss and outsourcing of our jobs,


the quality of our food,
water, and air...


All these concerns affect us directly
and were, and continue to be based in
corporate greed.



So the people came together,
standing in one voice
as the officials came into the airport
and through the gates of Seattle...



It was very cool,
how the people of Seattle created blockades,
so officials for the WTO
could not meet in their conference rooms
or gather at the Space Needle.


Instead, they were forced to face the people!



Of course, the cops didn't like that.




By late afternoon
the police were given permission to use
whatever tactics they thought necessary
to drive back the crowds.




Therefore, police began
to push the people
out of the way using tear-gas.




By the end of the night
police had pushed the people up the hill,
and into my neighborhood,
where my friends and neighbors
were tear-gassed, too!



The next morning,
some people began to riot
and the windows of many buildings owned by corporate companies were busted down.
Since no person was being physically hurt,
some thought about it and felt
creating material damages was okay.
Newspaper boxes were uprooted from the sidewalks and thrown into the glass!



Again, the peaceful protesters
returned to the streets, chanting:

THE PEOPLE
UNITED
WILL NEVER BE
DIVIDED!


They came again
to block the WTO organizers from gathering.



And again,



protesters were tear-gassed,
beaten with clubs, and driven by police
up to the hill where I live.



The protests went on in the streets
for a total of three days.



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This year will be the 10th Anniversary
of the Battle in Seattle.






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The citizens of Seattle were put on a nightly curfew:
we were told to be out of the streets by 7:00 p.m.,
or we would be tear-gassed.


Naturally, not everyone
was able to get out of the streets in time!


For three days and nights, all we could hear were helicopters...


On the third night, I rushed home from work.
I couldn't find anything on the local news
about how the night would go.


But I tuned-in to PBS and saw
there were police lined up


right in front of my apartment building.


Dozens of squads stood out in the street,
in lines outside my door,
poised in their "riot gear",
face shields down like Darth Vader.
They stood waiting for the downtown squads
to push the protesters up the hill one more time.


People I worked with got tear-gassed on their way home from teaching at night.



A friend who was tear-gassed had to sleep on my living room floor.



There was no way a lot of people could get home!



Reporters said
the protests weren't helping much
with the Christmas Shopping season.


By the time the protests were over,
some people went to jail...
Merchants boarded up their windows.



Which did not look very welcoming
uptown or downtown.


(No one was really in the mood to go shopping.)

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In fact, Seattle has never been the same.


We all know
knew this event
would slowly change the world.


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This is a story about greed.


http://www.zmedia.org/WTO/N30.htm


http://www.gapsucks.org/gwa/history/wto/


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_in_Seattle

http://www.johncallan.com/Archive/PM/WTO--%20The%20Battle%20for%20Seattle.htm


http://www.spectacle.org/0100/main.html


http://archives.dailyuw.com/2000/120100/N2.WT.html


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