Golden Heart

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The golden light of this heart
is the heartbeat of Mother Nature...
It represents our life force energy fully ignited.

As we connect to the planet through the food we eat for sustenance, and to one another for friendship and compassion, our energy can become golden light. We can receive this light by meditating in the sun, allowing light to flow into our bodies, also contemplating the relationship of Earth's gold to lead. We can "plug" into the center of the Earth during meditation, and draw Her fire up into our hearts through our breathing. I love to go and lay somewhere where the rocks or the sands are warm.

We can change the rate of our pulse and blood-flow by tapping into Mother Earth's gold. We can perform martial arts, heal the sick, shift-shape and travel through time...

The more we do this, the more we learn how to experience our bodies as "Soul Spaceships", so to speak.

Our bodies are putting out energetic messages all the time, and it is not just all about being "sexual". This is where some people are very messed up. Don't let anyone mess with you anymore in this arena.

I don't like to discuss it too much because people pervert things. If you start asking people how they feel about their bodies, of course they will relate to their pain or their sexuality. In other words, most people are walking around, seeing their bodies as being nothing more than containers... (As if our bodies are no more useful than a suitcase?! There's something wrong with that kind of thinking.)


My point is this: people don't just communicate with one another in words, we also do it through our body language.

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There are so many people out there practicing a kind of black magic with their body language... They don't even know they're doing it. They may think they are speaking in great truths? But they are not effective because their physical bodies are putting out a different message. If they are spiritual people who seek to understand their own intentions, yet they do this? Something is wrong.

An old woman I know likes to follow her friends to restaurants... Then she will just sit there without paying or leaving a tip. She will fold her hands under her arms and stare off into space, helplessly, with her lips buttoned. So then, her friends always foot the bill, or end up buying an entree' to share, enabling her while she sits there... Sending off a message to everyone in the place that she's "poor". This way, restaurant owners feel sorry for her.

She recently accused my friends of "not loving" her. Yet in knowing her (for 20 years now), I have observed she has never really been able to receive love! She is one of these people who runs away, darting left to right, always clutching her poisoned apple under her cloak... (Like all she really wants is to be enabled in her poverty-mentality.) I think this junk has made her heart grow small.

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The ancient teachings of alchemy were shown to direct us to the healing power of gold. Gold is a metaphor used for literally shifting the leaden blocks in our blood to lighter matter, and for healing and removing the gravity (lead) in our hearts. In this way, we build chi, or energy. We can meditate with, and use this gold light energy to connect to others. All we have to do is allow gold light to flow into our hearts whenever we want or need it!

We can also sit and meditate with a piece of gold.

The feeling is the kind of lightness you feel in your heart when you are in love.

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Jesus Laughing

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I had a teacher who used to say, we are not here on Earth for ourselves. In fact the anagram for "Earth" is "Heart". So she used to say, we are living here on Planet Heart.

Everyone searches for a reason to be alive, don't they? We run into all kinds of diversions as we go along, because here on Earth, we're in Life School. We get to keep repeating the same lessons over and over again, remember? We have to, until we learn them. Once we learn them, they are written inside us.

Relationships, however, are a little more complicated. For one thing, we left the Garden of Eden to experience things like choice-making and free-will. Are we getting it, God?

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The challenge is to see how every person is a brother or a sister; by befriending them in such a way, we might find something more. We might learn something about ourselves! We cannot ever really know ourselves unless it is through another human being. Isn't it ironic?

Sometimes it is not always possible to help someone or talk with them. Either way, we should pray for ourselves and the people we care about. Don't leave someone in the dark. If you need to postpone a conversation for a week to get them to think, do it. But don't abandon anyone if you know you can help them see the light. Try and empower others with tools and information and resources, if they let you. They are another You.

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I'm a big fan of Judge Judy. I think she rocks! I love how she gets into session and starts asking 20-questions. I love when how, someone tries to speak-over her, and she'll holler back - "I get to ask the questions here!" I think it's cool how she can catch anyone in a lie! Whenever I invoke my Inner Judge Judy? You can bet someone around me is breakin' the law.

Of course, when you are dealing with someone like Judge Judy? The intensity is deflating. There are some women out there with really negative or intense "inner-Judge-Judy's", ready to emasculate the first guy who comes along. Then she'll use your balls for ping-pong, boys.

You see many of us as being cougars and pythons?! Beware!

Because if you are one of those double-standard boys out there, playing the game of He's Just Not That Into You, you might go for one of us "older" babes.

Just be forewarned and wary: we'll be looking for what you believe in, and we will challenge you from every angle on it. We'll want to know from you about what it means to be a friend. We'll be asking you about your views on the differences between love and sex.

We weren't born yesterday, and we won't trust you or endure your foolishness and double-speak. We already know you're working with a forked-tongue and an f'd-up mind. We will work the 20-question-methods in order to squeeze the life out of you. Then? We'll suck out your brains. We'll leave you, pulsing in a husk, on the freeway of your life.

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Dang! Must I always be so punitive?

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Having gone through most of my life accounting for every stuck-fart on paper or otherwise, to every authority I've ever known... I've always hated that. I sometimes refuse to apologize for my bad attitude. Let's face it, most of the real compassion I've received in my life has been from the opposite sex. I'm meeting a lot of men who are more sensitive and active as fathers than their wives are as mothers. (But golly, there isn't anyone I haven't met who doesn't have "issues".)

Aren't people supposed to be presumed innocent until they are like, tried in a court of law?

I spent a lot of my career wondering - what did I do? Deeply questioning and searching the possibility that somehow I must be a bad person? Because I was educated by nuns, and always worked for punitive a-holes. That's where I learned all this!

So the other day a friend of mine (who is 30 years younger than me) pointed out - "why don't you try Mr. Rogers?"

I didn't think he meant it so literally. But as we began to talk, he simply said he learned during his life in the orphanage... People simply don't listen. And a lot of time they don't even want to. So he began to use Mr. Rogers as his role model.

Here we are, angling around one another's body languages... Twinging and latching onto other people's souls as if they are suitcases (not spaceships).

"If you don't want to be punitive, or sound punitive, I would recommend talking like Mr. Rogers," he said.

"Start by introducing what you want to say in 'I' and 'me' terms... Try telling them a couple of times. Then, if that doesn't work? Then do the Judge Judy."

Well, unfortunately, I missed out on Mr. Rogers somehow. (But he's still airing on PBS.) My friend had to teach me to say a few things like this:

"My feelings are hurt when you blame me for the mold on your shoes."

Believe me, I am gritting my teeth all the way...

"Wow, it scares everyone in the building when you slam the door like that..."

"Gee, I can't talk fast enough when you keep interrupting me. It makes me feel anxious..."

I'm getting the hang of it!

And also asking more questions instead of being accusing or blaming, like:

"Yikes! It's hard to laugh when you are hitting my grocery cart with your grocery cart. Is this supposed to be funny?!"

WHY?

I am learning more to ask "why?"

Instead of being like Judge Judy, and saying something like: "I don't wish to participate in discussions about my personal business!" I can ask: "WHY is it important for you to want to discuss my personal business?" and "Why must I participate in this discussion?" and "Why isn't dating you any fun anymore?"

I think I'm getting it...

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"I'm just a soul the on the planet;
I'm trying to do good, be good, feel good..."

-Meshell Ndegeocello
"The World Has Made Me the Man of My Dreams"

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Amazon Heart

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Only a certain woman could wear a design like this.

"I give freedom the meaning it has for me."

This is a huge design, signifying a person
who is very autonomous and giving at the same time.
Someone who is able to create a life of her own volition,
and still have faith in other human beings...
Putting her devotion to a spiritual life at the forefront.
Never accepting anything less than what her own standards require, she knows how to walk away from situations, people, dogmas and thought-forms that do not empower her.
She only participates in the things she loves.
She loves deeply.


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Um, yeah... Well, I was watching the boob-tube the other day... (Here in America, some of us call the television the "boob" tube... Because people sit in front of it for long hours, forgetting who or what they are. So we just become "boobs".) Uh, yea...

Anyhoo, there was a woman on TV who was a matchmaker, and she was talking about how women shouldn't have sex with a guy on the first date. She said, that's a big no-no.

The reason, she explained, is that once women make love with someone, they exude a hormone that makes them fall in love. At that point, someone on the panel (a young man) laughed and said "no wonder all my dates stalk me!" He modestly looked down, then blew with his lips on his hand, to shine-up his fingernails.

Sure.

Why not?

But later in the afternoon I got to thinking about it and had a vision of a huge backlash happening with women who are, say, between the ages of 25-40 right now. You know, there are a lot of women out there who would like to have some real intimacy in their lives? And I'm not talkin' about the kind Madonna got from Guy Ritchie. Or the kind Madonna is getting from Jesus Luz. Or the kind Madonna used to get from What's His Face - Sean Penn? And who else?

I think it may be possible that double-standard boys will drive women away all-together. I mean, I saw Madonna's next album in my mind: it will be all about how she loves having sex with another woman.

She loves putting her button (or whatever she uses) on the pulse of that kind of thing, doesn't she? Hasn't she had sex with just about everyone? But I don't think she's made an album about being a lesbian. I'm sure it's due!

Anyway... Guys out there, I'm tellin' it like it is. Women do things like fall in love; in fact, we're all about it. Are you missing out on us? You don't really like to do anything unless it is fun? And women don't like to do much unless they can totally fall in love with it. That's just how we're made.

This is my hypothesis: this love-hormone thing is the reason why everyone loves lesbians!

Lesbians are everywhere, all over the internet, esp, and - wow! I mean, I'm not a lesbian but even my psychologist asked if I'd ever think about it???

He said men are so screwed up these days. Not really emotionally available. Not able to make a decision and stand on it without getting queazy - noncommittal, he said. And then there are a lot of men out there that are just plain in a rut, and tired. (Those are the types I meet - the ones that need, more like a nursemaid than a lover.)

So he wanted to know - had I thought about it? Well, it's a big political move, for sure. Yes, I thought about it.

I think I scare both men and women because I can see right into their souls.

I think I'm happier just being here, with my computer.

So... I wonder? Are we living vicariously through the love-hormone, when we're checking out photos of some lesbian-action on the internet?

Just wondering, that's all.

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I guess this is a good spot to write a little about female ejaculation...

Women are finally catching on to the fact we can both orgasm from the vagina, and ejaculate from the clitoris. It's only taken a few millenniums (or five) to get past our subjugation and figure it out again.

In some cultures women are still being placed into arranged marriages... After having their outer genital regions circumcised. This is done in order to "please" the husbands. (And you said you weren't happy to be an American.)

Women can do things like orgasm. That information was a huge breakthrough sometime during the 1970's, when the pill became a sexual revolution in this country.

Now, everything is shifting again... Because you see, women have also learned, finally, we can ejaculate.

And shame on you women doctors out there that say we can't! Start googling it on the internet however you can. You'll find websites on how to pleasure yourself... You'll also see arguments from female doctors are stymieing. The only reason I can speculate is, they don't want you to know this information or they haven't experienced it for themselves... Or perhaps it would revolutionize the entire medical profession? I think Christine Northrup is the only doctor out there discussing it!

You see, we can heal ourselves by learning how to raise the flow of our hormones and ejaculate. I don't think doctors want you to know that? If you can learn how to pleasure yourself - to the point of ejaculation? You can also get a lot more blood to your brain - and that's important. More importantly, this kind of fluid-flow is crucial to keeping a healthy heart. Is it any wonder more women than men suffer from heart disease?

In general, men seem to have more energy, better eyesight and ability to see things at a farther range, brains that seem to be stronger and more resilient to stress than females. Men breathe more deeply whereas females tend to be shallow breathers. I think it's because guys ejaculate all the time; they have a better flow of hormonal washings going through the entirety of their bodies... Whereas females are struggling with that.

I am saying, these are the times of the final revolutions... Where all information and resources we need are coming right into our hands, minds and bodies. (Please see my other posts on the Orgasmic Hearts and Golden Hearts)

The clitoris has be exercised. It's possible to purchase a small clamp that can be used on the clitoris; it is used to move it outward with a pulling motion, until it can toughen-up and begins to protrude, becoming more erect. The other key is to be able to relax your body (as opposed to tightening the body and vaginal channel, as you would during orgasm). You've got to learn how to allow relaxation, so you can let your fluids flow. If you do happen to have a sensitive male lover, perhaps he can be helpful in teaching you to relax, let go and release. Otherwise, you might have some fun in teaching yourself?

You'll feel better for it.

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Question: Who or What is Messin' with ya?


I had a gnarly experience with some mold the other day... It got me thinking about some of the junk I see on the internet. People online are "all-up-into-it". There are a lot of jokes about he's just "not that into" you, he's "all up into" you, what are you "into", what's "into" you...

Most of the joking is sexual. It got me a little messed-up.

I started thinking, perhaps all disease originates with sexually transmitted stuff? Like herpes, syphilis, HIV. I tend to think in terms of everything being interconnected.

The other day one of my tenants called me down to her apartment. She said she was dealing with a mold infestation... Taking me back to her closet, I noticed several boxes on the floor; these were all covered with lime-green fuzz. I immediately held my breath.

"Would you take a look at this?" She pulled the lid off a box of shoes. Inside rested a beautiful pair of patent-leather heels... Covered with huge, giant-sized balls of mold. Lime green, day-glo and fuzzy; about the size of golf balls! Off each one hung several long HAIRS, 3-4 inches each! I almost barfed. Of course, she's been keeping that apartment like a sweat-box... She had to throw out all her shoes.

But my God!!! That mold was a nightmare!

Like something you'd see on LSD!

It amazed me how the mold seemed to be LOVING to grow on something like DEAD SKIN.

It got me thinking about how, in ancient times? People saw that kind of thing growing on dead bodies all the time.

I mean, we live in such hygienic environment... It's rare to see anything like that. If we cannot see what's going on, growing inside our bodies, do we even think about it?!

And yet I've witnessed joking on the internet that would show otherwise...

How some people see other people's bodies as being nothing more than say, an empty vehicle to get-off-into. Something like a suitcase.

Wouldn't you think that is all the more reason to start watching the body language of others, the language of what is going on in their environments? What they do, their intentions behind what they do, so much more than what they say?

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Question: And Why does Sex have to be so Messy?

I'm pretty sure it was earlier in the day I'd been watching a feature on the Tyra Show... I think it was something about, what are men "into"?

Several guys mentioned they preferred to have their women come to their place for sex. They said it was more convenient, because there, they have access to things like their own shower, their own towels, etc. Ejaculation is messy business. I wonder what their mattresses are like? What kind of condition those are in?

"And then I can just tell the woman - it's time for you to go..." a guy explained with a wave of his thumb.

Well brothers, I got news for ya: ejaculation can be just as messy for women. There might be a few of us who aren't interested in sharing that information with you. We might not be into-it quite yet. (I mean, we can ejaculate too. And who wouldn't like to have a few items, like say, like some nice clean, mold-free towels? And some baby-wipes on hand?)

You see, the women were having a Tyra moment out there... All upset about - why does he jump up and run away, right after he ejaculates?

Because it's messy... That's why, Ladies.

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