Medicated Heart

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This image is of an "inflamed" heart. As you can see, it is swollen; the dark clouds around it could represent congestion or depression. Because of the swelling, it is fiery; the sort of heart that is aching for relief.

Also, I think it is interesting to consider, the thorns around the heart are full of dis-ease. So as you can see, a crucifix is coming down into the heart, to give it some relief. This crucifix is a Gift from God. Certainly, it could be the discovery of some new sort of medication, much needed for the situation. For without this help, the muscles of the heart and above the heart would begin to contract and become knotted. That's already happening here.

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This image below is
a typical depiction of a Sacred Heart,
being inducted by God's Gift.

As you can see, there's a weeping "eye" in there... It is closed and resting.

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I am very lucky to know many people from various cultures, who have blessed me with their knowledge and resources. This is how I found my Tui Na healer. She works on the farthest reaches of the city, and I must go far to see her. She learned her skill in Vietnam. Because she is not a licensed practitioner, she only takes donations. There is a kindness about her I see in very few people. Even though she is younger than me, there is something about her that reminds me of my mother, when Mom was young and loving. She is sincere and very cute, with freckles on her face.


"I only help the people as long as they are in pain," she explained. "Then I tell them, no more, because I get afraid..."

"Of course," I said. "You would have to stop working on them... Because people should learn how to take care of themselves. If they are in pain, they will respect you. If they are no longer in pain, they will just use you."

This looks like how I feel before a session...
(See how Lon Chaney also has a bit of a sinus problem?)

Then she gets on top of me with her entire body weight... She begins to knead the paralysis out of my face and neck with her knuckles. Pushing it slowly, like stiff, frozen meat, down through the chi lines of my arm or leg, she takes it out through my fingers and toes.

The toe-part is the most painful! She will grab me by the pinkie, pick me up, and shake my entire body by the pinkie, beating me against the floor while I am screaming "ow!! ow!! ow!!" After which she "breaks" it out of me. The suddenly all the paralysis goes "snap" - out of my pinkie toe - and is gone, forever.

Perhaps "ow!" is the universal language? Or have I got it all wrong? (It's supposed to be "Om", not "Ow!")

So far I have had 6 half-hour sessions with Loi. Early this year, we were surprised to find, my tonsil was paralyzed. It was pulling on all the muscles above my heart. It was putting pressure on my brain.

When she went in and got all that stuff out of me, I wept bitterly. I just couldn't believe how much hatred and anger I was holding there.

How is it, my doctors could not detect any of that?

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Lord, I've got to be careful about not liking doctors... It's giving me a bad attitude! I was stressed out during that last pap-smear, God. The doctor was so up-tight!! She was making her assistant nervous; the assistant was shaking, then she couldn't get the sample into the sample jar. Then, the doctor later bawled me out for talking to her assistant. (I'm not sure I should go back.) It's too bad for them I have some standards, Lord!

Please give me some guidance on this... No one is quite like that great Japanese residential doctor I had! He was handsome! He also smelled like apple blossoms. At least, Jesus, he had a clue as to what was wrong! He was kind, he was professional. He was a great listener, attentive and sweet. Remember when I made him cookies...? He said he couldn't accept them, for professional reasons. Still, he was honest at all times. He put his ego aside and actually admitted to the limitations he had, as a medical scientist. He gave me options and alternatives. Everyone at the hospital adored him, Jesus; it was because he is adorable. I watched him Lord... He treated everyone equally, with the same respect and dignity.

Help me, Jesus, to uphold this criteria for anyone who needs to get all-up into my life. Amen.

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Surgical Hearts

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This is a rather exotic image... It would be amusing to know who got the great idea of shoving a sword through the heart, as some sort of devotional to Christ? I suspect the image was derived during the Crusades and later developed in Catholic art. Well, surely, it's our way of expressing to God our hurts? The feelings of betrayal we endure, both from ourselves and others? The grief and loss we all experience over wounds that won't heal?


But then, I began to look at this heart as the Surgical Heart... Because it seems, the Sword is inducted from some outer, or outside source, not actually "wanting" to be part of us; on some level, it is placed there intentionally. We have enticed or even welcomed it.

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And yet, we are able to accommodate ourselves to it, and find redemption. We do things like trust our doctors. We trust them enough to cut open our chests, break apart our rib-cages, then go in there and cut away things like an "excess flap". We are even blind about it, perhaps not taking into consideration the effects such a surgery might have, on the long-term physical, or psychological well-being of say, one of our children.

One of the best ways to heal yourself, to build-up the strength of your heart, restore it to health again, is to SING! I invite you to do it!

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Dear Jesus,
with every breath left in me,
let me raise my voice to You.
If there is nothing else to sing for,
I will sing Your Praises,
Lift Your Name to the Highest Rafters,
and Meet With You...
You who heals me,
You who restores me,
You who conquers all that is ill inside of me,
May I sing for You, Lord, like
a thousand birds!
Like the ringing of bells!
Lift me again, Lord, to Meet with You!
Every day
is a new day;
It's a Beautiful Day, Lord,
because of You!

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Wounded Heart

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This image is adapted from a photo of a tattoo... The original painting is on one of the albums by The Cure. I call it the Wounded Heart.

The wounded heart has just witnessed and experienced something horrific; an event or an impact that has damaged its neurotransmitters and opened an inner-eye of awareness, rendering it to be forever changed.

As I contemplate this heart, what comes to mind are the effects of the atrocities of war we are subjected to every day. Whether that war is national, global, ethnic, "terrorist", or happening behind our backs in the office, through parental abuse or neglect, or through the political arenas of our civilian lives as gross and unjust discrimination, we FEEL it. We SEE it.

We may not know it or participate in it directly, but we are changed by it. The wounded heart comes to us with a certain level awareness, one that gets carved in our hearts, leaving complex scars and deeply-resonant surges of pain, regret, guilt, even sado-masochism. Trends which may, for the most part, never get resolved unless we get professional help.

Many children growing up during the events of World War II, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and the radioactive atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by America, are our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents today. (And let us not forget the "accident" at Chernobyl, in 1986...) These little children also grew up with comedy shows and "slap-stick" such as Laurel and Hardy and The Three Stooges... Where the characters were slapping, hitting, beating each other with sticks and/or running over each other with cars, trucks and ladders, essentially creating their "comedy" at the expense of someone else. Over time, we have come to see the consciousness behind this sort of humor is sadistic.

Children growing up in the 1940's quickly learned it was considered "cute" to be a pugnacious little brat. (Thinking this behavior is normal, we have also turned around and reinforced it in our own children. After all, we grew up with Bugs Bunny! Great cartoons, but cartoons, nevertheless, and often obnoxious.) Is Seinfeld a sadistic comedy? It has gone along in another vein, showing us how our self-interest can be stupid, vain, self-defeating, and also sadistic. Comedy and tragedy! What makes Jerry Seinfeld a great comedian is his background, and his sense of the absurd.

OK... My point is, some of these children from the Hiroshima Generation have never grown up.

Many often consider the need to get psychological help as being a sign of weakness. At the same time, we are dealing with an epidemic of Americans who are addicted to prescription medications. Not realizing people are often placed on these medications long-term (so they can die), they blindly trust their doctors - because their hearts are closed.

Their hearts are closed, and it is too painful to feel one's own feelings. (Feeling your own feelings would require you to wake-up.)

And we wonder why the hearts of our parents are hardened they way they are... Why it is, their eyes seem to be closed in denial to the pain of other people, and why it is that war continues and thrives to be the "norm". Living in an era where we have so much access to information and education, is it acceptable?

Is it OK to treat ourselves and other living beings as if we are disposable?

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Dear God,
teach me how to be wiser, act smarter,
learn more and open more
to new information, ideas and education.
Keep me from trespassing
over other living beings, intentionally or in ignorance.
Guide me to have the courage
to reach out for professional help.
Teach me how to walk softly
and move gently with this Wounded Heart,
Dear Jesus.
Amen.

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Sometimes I Don’t Know What To Feel
Lyrics by Todd Rundgren

Sometimes I don’t know,
I just don’t know what to feel.

Sometimes I don’t know what to feel...
Everything I thought that I knew
starts to look so unreal!
There’s a ringing in my head
that keeps me awake at night.
Sometimes I don’t know what is right!
Today I saw a car crush my little dog
under it’s wheel...
It did not even stop,
it just sped off - and out of sight!

Sometimes I just feel so afraid,
But I know that no one else has it made...
So if I just believe in myself -
I won’t need no help from nobody else
and I can make it alone.
And everything will be cool.

I got to keep on keepin’ on...
There’s nothing else I can do!

Sometimes I don’t know what to do!
Someone said the world’s going to end -
and I think it’s true.
I thought there was some love in the world
But I guess I’m wrong.
Sometimes I just feel so alone!
I don’t want to admit to my friends
that I feel confused.
I wonder what I’d do with myself
if the world was gone?
Something makes me stay on my feet.
Don’t you dare admit to defeat!

And if I tell myself it’s all right -
I can comfort myself through the night.
And watch another day dawn...
And everything will be cool...

c)Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp; Humanoid Music

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A Faith Prayer

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Christ, I Put My Heart,
My Health and Well-Being in Your Hands.
I trust You to guide me to the places I need to be,
to discover the information I need to access,
in the most perfect timing.
I trust in Your Promises, Lord,
and turn all my needs over to You,
that I may be a tool of Your life-force
and an instrument of Your Message.
I know my doctors are functioning under Your Will,
or I will be guided to better doctors.
People and doctors and medications
may have let me down, Sweet Jesus;
but You keep me lifted, in your Living Light,
elevated above it all.
You never let me down, Dear Lord!


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Doctor's Heart

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This is what the Doctor's heart is like...

For the doctor, the heart is an "organ", inside the body.

For the doctor, it is all about "cardiovascular"...


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Doctors get all-up-into it...

Doctors begin their learning of the heart by the study of charts like this,
in "anatomy and physiology" classes.

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One of the first things a doctor uses
to help with his or her studies of the heart
is an item like this...

This is a mouse-heart slicer.

"Yeeeeek!!!!"

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Next, doctors will graduate to
something like this for "dissection":

This is a pig's heart.
The pig's heart is the closest-looking thing to the human heart.

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For doctors, it is all about "microbiology".



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