Candy Hearts

Since Valentine's Day is less than a week away, here are a few ideas for flirting with the ones you love, and for making everyone else nervous...

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Check out this cool Gummy, or Soft Heart!
It's anatomical, and you can eat it!

This is the perfect heart to pass on to a teacher... I'm not sure if it's doll-sized, but if so, a fun idea to give with a doll (such as one of the Harry Potter dolls by Tonner). Hide it with a sexy note, in a special spot to catch someone by surprise. Put it in a prescription bottle with a note, in your lover's medicine cabinet. Get a safety pin and pin it to your jacket or hat with a flower. (Make sure you look sad, like you're hungry for love.) Tie it to a firecracker... And keep it on your desk near the telephone. Or give it to your boss! I dare you! Make a really scary-looking dessert, like cheesecake with strawberries and sauce; leave it on the side of the plate for your Gothic boyfriend. Tie an engagement ring around it with a happy bright white or pink ribbon.

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Of course, everyone recognizes these candies...

This are fun for kids to stick inside their Valentine cards to friends... Can also be used as small offerings on a plate in a personal prayer space, where they can stay for some time. Do you have a personal message you'd like to get to God? Have your favorite people "make a wish" as you place one on someone's tongue...

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Ahem! This heart is upsetting a lot of women... Translation? "He doesn't have the maturity to man-up"?

But the ORIGINAL HJNTIY? began on an episode of SEINFELD - the one where George encourages Jerry to propose a threesome to his girlfriend's roommate...? "She's INTO it!!!" Jerry learns. It's that episode where Jerry cries - "I don't wanna be an orgy-guy! I'd have to get orgy-clothes! I'd have to get an orgy-robe, and grow a mustache! I'd have to get all new furniture - ORGY furniture! I'd have to find new friends! Orgy-friends!"

Women, maybe there is something to that whole orgy thing... Organize your own orgy, set your own rules. Invite your returning soldiers and hot immigrants from places like Iraq, Iran and Pakistan! They are so grateful to get to the U.S.! They can't wait to snuggle down between some warm breasts! And stay there! (War does that to guys.)

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This was a colossal design I copied from web images... SOMEBODY put a ton of work into it! This is the DON'T EAT ME HEART... I would put a sign near the display with instructions "DON'T Eat Me!" especially if there are kids in the house.


A heart like this would take about 9-12 hours to create. You would need an anatomical image to go by. You might need a styrofoam ball and a few other pieces of carved styrofoam to make your basic shape. These would all have to be glued together as firmly as possible with a glue gun and toothpicks. (If you could get your hands on a large piece of hard styrofoam, to carve the entire shape, that would be the way to go! Once you start working on the hearts, you don't want to be managing a piece of junk.) Do I sound like Martha Stewart?

You'd need about 8 large packages of hearts, maybe even a little pink food dye to soak your white and pink hearts together to color them as one. Then, it's a matter of making sure you have a TON of glue sticks and time to sit and glue, glue, glue, layering about 3 levels of hearts, one on top of the other, to get the full effect. The "sideways" hearts have to be braced on the flat-laying ones.

(My Uncle Jim used to make junk like this all the time... And I was always warned - "no" - and always stupid enough to at least try and get in a lick... His projects always tasted like dust and crap-ola! yechhh! bleche! spit spit spit!!)

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Yum!

These hearts are really sexy, I think. Also they are low carb candies, so skinny b's like 'em! I would put mine in a hot, romantic valentine card, or sprinkle some around the bedsheets with some real rose petals. See, they are very pretty because they look like little drops of blood. One wonderful idea - if you love to make curries, make a really pretty, spicey, saucey chicken curry for Valentine dinner. Plate it up with a few of these cinnamon candies in the sauce at the last minute - delicious. Serve some steamy chai tea to your McDreamy, with a cup and saucer, and the candies on the saucer. Take a handful and decorate your body when you lay down with your partner, or use a little honey in the bedroom to make them really stick...

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I thought this was an interesting heart, below...

Any candies striped red and white have an ancient tradition behind them. They represent the number of "lashes" Jesus received during the whipping from the soldiers, as He carried his crucifix to Calvary! So when we see the red-stripes, we are instructed to remember how Christ suffered as He died for our sins. And with candy, we are prompted to remember the sweet sanctity of Christ's Promise, to redeem us, and to show us how to bring Heaven on Earth. And all that jazz.

And I don't know how I know all this; I just do.
I was raised Catholic... Ya know?

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If you really love me... If you want to show your devotion, a heart-shaped box with chocolate is one of the best ways to go! 'k?


Just remember! Get the best chocolate you can find, in one of the most beautiful boxes available... Even if you are just doing this for yourself! A pretty, elegant box is the best keepsake. Besides, no one wants to get fat on cheap chocolate! If you must get fat, or get someone else fat? Make sure it's on something dreamy, beautiful, awesome and memorable!

Love is the only thing worth getting fat for. If you are going to eat it, love it, or leave it.

Have a foamy latte or hot coffee drink prepared with an open box of chocolates on the table; and maybe a truffle sitting next to your coffee cup and saucer. If you're home alone? Why not put in a Tom Cruise or Leonardo movie? That always cheers me up! ; )

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